Martino’s has seemingly opened by stealth. There was no pre-launch hullabaloo, no formative hype, no dragged-out social build-up. One day it was just there, looking like it’d been around for decades, complete with a glamorous, older Sloane Square crowd that seemed to have been propping up the bar since 1978.
The taste is Brighton chip shop by way of a Calabrian trattoria
Who might have the balls to pull off such a feat of modern hospitality sass? Martino’s is the latest from Martin Kuczmarski, the man behind The Dover, which has remained a searing hot ticket since it opened in 2023. Martino’s is a little less New York and a little more Milan, with a simple pasta and meatballs menu, and all-day dining (it’s open from 8am on weekdays). I’m here for an early Monday dinner, but it could be 9pm on a Friday for all we know; there are rowdy family get-togethers, cheery groups of friends and furtive martini meetings around the majestic oval bar in the middle of the room, which somehow manages to not pull focus, such is the twinkling beauty of every single facet of the stunning space.
But before we get too excited about what we’re calling the Sexiest Dining Room of The Year, we must mention the space-age holding pod that doubles up as the restaurant’s entrance. A dreamy decontamination chamber, this pearlescent womb smells like a Diptyque factory, and is adorned with fresh flowers and humming with charming staff who look up your handwritten booking in a massive leather-bound book.
When that blissful experience is over, you’re led into the main room. Like the Dover, it’s very sensual; all glossy walnut walls, film noir-worthy venetian blinds, extremely flattering light, and slinky demi-booths that the Daily Mail would probably accuse of putting on a ‘curvy display’. Staff wear white jackets and black bowties and glide across the parquet floor like Fred Astaire mid-foxtrot. The one-sheet menus are long and lean and feel good in the hand. Every cocktail you can think of is on offer (we go for a graceful French 75 and a solid Negroni), and the food is unobtrusive, yet occasionally surprising. Shoestring zucchini fritti is a stand-out, skinny strands of courgetti that retain the crispness of the batter thanks to vinegar-infused salt, circumventing any notion of sogginess. The taste is Brighton chip shop by way of a Calabrian trattoria, and if we were perched at the bar with just a platter of this and a glass of fizzy Franciacorta, we would know true happiness if just for 20 minutes.
A simple beef and pork tortellini in a delicate chicken brodo felt like the kind of food to feed a flu; more exciting was tonno tonnato, a one-two tuna punch of sliced seared tuna topped with a creamy sauce of more tuna, anchovies and lemon. Ignore the fact that it looks a bit like an Ed Gein flesh mask and instead focus on the fresh, fishy flavour. Meatballs zuppetta sees satisfyingly crumbly beef patties served with sourdough on the side, a pleasing alternative to pasta, while a fuss-free aglio e olio spaghetti is excellently unpretentious.
Nothing on the Martino’s menu is overly outre – this isn’t a place for flashy food – but that only makes the space shine brighter. Much like The Dover, we’re already planning our next trip.
The vibe A well-heeled crowd in a super glamorous Chelsea space.
The food Simple Italian dishes; pasta, pizza and the occasional surprise.
The drink Lots of Italian wine and every cocktail you can conjure up.
Time Out tip Can’t decide what to drink? Opt for a Martino’s Shakerato; a fabulously fluffy combo of Campari, gin and orange juice. House wine is also very decent value at £27 for a 500ml carafe.